Post by savin on Jan 30, 2006 9:01:58 GMT -5
A game is being played on stage behind a curtain. The audience can hear the players but can't see the moves.
The white player says "I start the game with my normal move"
The black player then says "I will kill you and your family if I lose this game -- here is my reply"
At this point the audience all smile since they know what the first two moves of the game were.
**********
And now for a few traditional chess jokes [perhaps some have not heard them]
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say: "What a clever dog!" But the man protests: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
**********
APPOINTMENT. A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
“What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.
“What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”
“Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”
“You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”
*********
Two friends see each other in the street and one of them says:
"My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, she will take my children and leave me. "
The other friend asks: "And what you will do?
He replies: "E4, as always!
************
The white player says "I start the game with my normal move"
The black player then says "I will kill you and your family if I lose this game -- here is my reply"
At this point the audience all smile since they know what the first two moves of the game were.
**********
And now for a few traditional chess jokes [perhaps some have not heard them]
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say: "What a clever dog!" But the man protests: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
**********
APPOINTMENT. A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
“What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.
“What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”
“Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”
“You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”
*********
Two friends see each other in the street and one of them says:
"My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, she will take my children and leave me. "
The other friend asks: "And what you will do?
He replies: "E4, as always!
************
